Are you one of us?

I learnt to eat omelettes in American diners. I love how they taste there, and I love the home fries they come with. Above is a healthier variety, with a filling made of avocado, carrot, onion, and cilantro. The perfect food whether breakfast, lunch, or dinner if you ask me!

Are you one of us?

Here's the paperwork for you to fill out.

You are white. Check here.

You are male. Check here.

Listen, you’re already doing great!

Employed? Check.

My goodness, this is going just dandy!

Are you young? Well, not young young but at least under 45, no?

All your teeth intact? Please open your mouth for us, sir.

OK, all right, we see some fillings…

Can you read instructions?

Can you take directions?

Are you certified?
Naturalized?
Qualified?

Verified? Guaranteed?

Did you pass the test?

Did you graduate?

From where?

How’s your hearing?
I said HOW’S YOUR HEARING?
Good? Then how’s your English?

Habla Inglés, Señor?

It’s important that you understand.

Did you take one pill or two?
The instructions on this box say one pill.

“One a day with food” they say

You, sir, have taken way too many.

Are you married?

Do you have a pretty little wife?

Pretty children? Handsome boy and beautiful daughter?

A dog perhaps? Just no lizards please!

Is your family waiting for you at home?

No? No wife? No kiddies?

Well, well, well…

Sir, you’re not old, but you know

Time catches up with all of us.

Time to settle down, don’t you think?

Have a cigar.

You are straight, sir, aren’t you?
Do you drink? What’s your poison?

A shot of brandy? A gin and tonic?

How’s your blood pressure?

How do you react under pressure?

Do you work out?

Do you know what to wear and who?

Saint Laurent? Too old!

Armani? Hugo Boss?

Watch your cuffs, sir

You don’t want to get them dirty!

For you, a grey suit, a lilac shirt and a plum tie

I swear, that goes so well with you colors.

Now let’s take a look at your insides.

Doctor, please?

Yes, a rectal exam.

Don’t worry, it won’t hurt a bit.

It’s over before you know it.

And it is covered by your insurance.

You do have one, don’t your sir?
Sir? Sir? Sir?