A Life Lesson

I made this for my son's school lunch the other day, and it was a success, so I decided to make a replica of it for breakfast: Whole wheat pita bread with shallot and chive Boursin cheese, spinach, avocado, and Chia seeds. And on the side, the first peach of the season.

Ah, the many lessons we learn in life while interacting with one another!

On a recent Saturday morning, my phone rang. It was a phone call I was expecting, and felt slightly apprehensive about. A kid at school, let’s call him Tommy, had been bothering my son for some time. Little things, or so I had assumed. My son didn’t seem overly upset about it so I, not wanting to make a feather out of a hen, downplayed it too. Although I did notify their teacher.

Then one day, when I picked my boy up from school, he was agitated:
The kid, Tommy, had hit him! Fortunately a teacher had seen the incident and asked Tommy to write a note of apology. My son, being my son after all, mislaid the note.

Two days later, another shocker: Tommy had stepped on my son’s glasses, causing the frames that were already kind of worn out, to break.

Needless to say this made me angry. Not so much with Tommy, as with myself for not having realized the severity of the situation earlier, with the teacher for not nipping the silly teasing in the bud, and with my own son, since I suspected he had not properly portrayed the relationship between himself and Tommy.

“Have you ever done or said anything, anything, to him? Have you teased him or hurt him in any way?” I asked angrily.

“No!”

The teacher called Tommy’s mom, who in turn, on that Saturday morning, called me.

A couple of hours later, she and I were sitting at my kitchen table. I was fidgeting. She was composed. My son and I had talked about this visit; we had bought cookies and popsicles to make it a bit smoother for Tommy. We knew what was going to happen, because Tommy’s mom had already decided: Her son Tommy, who is the same age as mine, was to give my son all his savings (a total of $48) as a “lesson”. She said:
“I want this to be difficult for Tommy. I want this to be a lesson. He has to pay for your son’s glasses.”
“I am pretty sure the insurance covers that,” I said.

She shook her head:
“It doesn’t matter, it is a lesson for my son. He must never do this again. If for any reason it should cost more to fix the glasses, let me know and I’ll pay the difference.”

Tommy gave my son an envelope with the money and a formal apology. My son forgave him and they ran off to play in my son’s room.

Two days later, we’re sitting at a Lenscrafters in the city with the broken frames. The lady behind the desk says the insurance does not cover this, so we have to pay $27. My son hears this. I pay for the frames and give my son the rest of the money.

This, I thought, was the end of the story.

Then just last week, I run into the Tommy’s mom at a school event. I walk up to her and say:
“You know, the new frames only cost $27.”
She is visibly upset.

“I know! Your son told Tommy. And Tommy feels it’s unfair. He thinks he should have his change back!”

I look at her in disbelief.

“But I thought you said it was supposed to be a lesson for him? I mean, isn’t that what you said?”

“Yes, well, but I didn’t realize your son would tell mine how much it cost to fix the glasses!”

Afterwards, I walk back home from the school event with my son.

“Remember the money for your glasses?”
“Yes?”

“I’m sorry, but I think we better give it back to Tommy.”

“Why?”
“Tommy’s mom thinks it is more fair that way.”

I put $21 in an envelope and marked it “Tommy”, then I put the envelope in my son’s school folder. My husband came home, and I told him about the whole thing. Then he got upset.

“This is not quite right,” he said. “She offered to pay, you didn’t ask. It was meant to be a lesson for her kid. That was her suggestion. And now she wants the change back?”

I nodded.

After a fairly long discussion, we put all the $48 in the envelope. The next day my son gave it to Tommy who cried out:
“Yippee!”